Models by Mark Manson > Book Summary

  • Book Name - Models
  • Book Author - Mark Manson

An honest guide to attracting women without faking behaviour, without lying, and without copying others. This is a summary of Models by Mark Manson.

Part 1: Reality What Are Women Attracted To? The answer? Social status. Women desire men who are more powerful, successful, and popular than they are. If they believe you have the potential to be extremely successful whether you are successful or not, it will spark attraction. It’s your behaviour that communicates your social status, not being Brad Pitt. It’s why the starving artist has no trouble finding a girlfriend. The second attraction trigger is being desired. Being physically assertive with a girl instead of just standing next to her like a platonic dingbat is a huge step you can take to spark her attraction. The next is true confidence. True confidence is being less invested in other people’s perceptions of you than in your perception of yourself. Women subconsciously detect it. Not having it will cause you to seek validation from others. To build your true confidence, you have to invest in yourself. A major contributor to confidence is the ability to be vulnerable. Not the petty complain, wine, and cry to your girlfriend kind-of-vulnerability. It’s the ability to put yourself out there and go ‘I don’t care what you think of me, this is who I am, and I am OK with it’. Cold approaching a beautiful woman and saying “Hi, I was nervous to come to talk to you but I had to do it because I think you are cute”. That’s being vulnerable. In the pick up community you may be told that you are giving away your power but Manson disagrees. Because if you hide your attraction or nervousness, she senses that as a lack of authenticity. Another contributor to true confidence is setting boundaries. Being willing to walk-away because she doesn’t meet your standards is incredibly attractive.

Part 2: Strategy Polarization Everything that is attractive is polarizing. To polarize is to make a stand in one direction. If you agree with everything a girl says to you because you want her to like you, then you are not making a stand for yourself. There are 3 categories of women: receptive, neutral, and unreceptive. Unreceptive women are typically a waste of your time. Neutral women will very quickly either become receptive or unreceptive. You have a window of opportunity to polarize her with your behavior. Take an action that forces her to make a decision like flirting with her or asking her out on a date. You’ve got nothing to lose because if you don’t make a move, she will become unreceptive. But if you make a move, you have a chance with her. Receptive women are already sexually attracted to you. A few signs she is receptive is if she approaches you, touches you, makes strong eye contact with you, gives you her number, or introduces you to her friends. But this is rare, it’s usually up to you to make the first move. The key to get better with women faster than you thought possible, is to always gauge the interaction and how the girl is feeling. “The percentage of women who are receptive to you increases proportionally to the quality of your lifestyle, your social status and your looks. Rejection.

The first step to overcoming rejection is to accept that you will get rejected. It usually has nothing to do with you. She may have a boyfriend. She may be flying to China tomorrow. Maybe her dog just died so she doesn’t feel like talking tonight. These events are outside of your control. If you only experience rejection every time you approach, it’s likely because you are not near your truth. You lack self-awareness of your own needs and desires, and carry emotional baggage with you. You also lack an ability to integrate feedback. So if you keep trying a technique and it constantly fails, you need to examine why and decide if you’ll do something differently next time. Redefining Success If you don’t define success with women the right way, you will waste years of effort. A trap is to measure your success by metrics like flake percentages, rejection rates, and lay counts. One of my dating mentors said he would be so focused on lay counts that his whole dating life revolved around his list of girls he banged to fuel his ego, instead of enjoying the experience. Manson suggests you redefine success as maximizing happiness with whichever woman or women you prefer. The 3 Fundamentals Now let’s learn the 3 fundamentals that will help you find your truth and become more confident.

  1. Honest Living: Creating an attractive and enriching lifestyle.
  2. Honest Action: Overcoming your fears and anxiety around women.
  3. Honest Communication: Mastering the expression of your emotions and communicating fluidly.

We will learn honest living in the article, and the other 2 are written on my new blog

Part 3: Honest Living Demographics Ask yourself, “Which women do I want to meet and what kind of relationship do I want with them?” To be successful with the type of woman you want, you need to understand context. It’s rarely mentioned in the dating world but it’s absolutely critical. Picture a 40-year-old divorced banker meeting a woman at a museum and an 18-year-old college kid sneaking into a house party to see a girl. Giving them the same advice is stupid. The men have different priorities, life experiences, personalities, and interests. Women in these locations will also be drastically different. Beliefs and Self-Selection. If you believe all women are sluts and untrustworthy, then you will only attract women who are sluts and untrustworthy. If you believe women are beautiful with exciting personalities… you get the picture... Age, Money, Looks. They matter. Not a lot, but they still matter and anybody who tells you otherwise is lying or ignorant. You don’t have control over your age but us men are lucky because our physical attractiveness peaks at 31 but for women it’s 21. Money you do have control over, it just takes a different way of thinking, execution, and patience to get out of a crappy financial situation. And looks you have a huge amount of control over. Studies show that style, grooming, and how you present yourself is more important than your physical dimensions like your oddly shaped jaw-line. Heck you can even disguise your oddly shaped jawline by growing and trimming a beard in a particular way. Race and The Foreigner Effect. You can automatically increase your attraction by going to another country where you are considered exotic. As I speak right now, I am in Colombia and get many positive reactions from women when I cold approach them, partly because I am considered exotic. Attracting The Top 1%. The top 1% of beautiful women in the world rarely settle for a man who is not the whole package. They are more receptive as to whether you are confident or not, and 99% of men desire them whereas regular women are desired by 50% of men. To attract them, stop caring about how beautiful they are, and talk about anything with her apart from her looks. There’s not that much difference between them and other women except your own thoughts about them. How to Be Attractive Appearance Start grooming and maintaining yourself. That means showering, shaving, wearing deodorant, and brushing your teeth. It’s not hard. Wear clothes that match, clothes that fit, and clothes that match your personality. And get in shape. When you do these things, your dating life will literally become 3x easier. Body Language Stand straight with your shoulders back. When you are out on the street, look people in the eye and maintain eye contact until they break it. It may feel weird at first, but this will train you to be more aware of people’s reactions to you. Vocal Tonality Speak LOUDER. And also speak from your chest, not from your mouth. This will make your voice deeper. Do this fun exercise with me: Say “Why don’t you come to the party with me?” Now, hold your nose and say it again, “Why don’t you come to the party with me?”. Did your voice change? If not, you probably already speak from your chest. But if you sound nasal, then you need to work on speaking from your chest. How to Be a Fascinating Person Most guys come off as just another guy. To become more interesting, develop artistic taste, try new things, and have strong opinions. So when a girl says “What is your favourite movie?” And you don’t have an answer or you just say “Everything” - That’s boring. Practice articulating why you like or don’t like a movie and share that strong opinion with her. Now you have the theory. But how can you actually attract the girl of your dreams into your life in 2019? The answer is execution with mentorship. I literally had zero dating experience in May this year. And in less than 8 weeks I was seeing amazing results. I now I have the skill-set to attract an abundance of girls into my life and a huge part of my quick growth was mentorship.

Today we learnt about: 
Part 1: Reality What women are attracted to: Social status Being desired True Confidence With true confidence being made up of vulnerability and setting boundaries

Part 2: Strategy Polarization The 3 categories of women which are unreceptive, neutral, and receptive. And we also learnt about overcoming rejection.

Part 3: Honest Living - We dived into demographics which is made up of beliefs and self-selection. Age, money, and looks, race and the foreigner effect, and attracting the top 1%. We also learned how to be attractive. Appearance - Which is made up of grooming and how you dress. Body language, vocal tonality, and how to be a fascinating person.

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